A funeral can be a complex event. Every word spoken must be carefully chosen, yet few speakers can make it through the engagement without being overcome with emotion. As the funeral progresses, there will come time for a memorial prayer. Usually a brief invocation, this prayer can set the tone for the entire event. There are several types of memorial prayers, each of which has its own message and is appropriate for a different audience. Discovering which of the prayers is appropriate for your audience can be a daunting task – but it is somewhat easier when you understand some of the main varieties of memorial prayer that are out there.
The Religious Prayer
Perhaps the most common type of memorial prayer, the religious prayer is generally taken from the holy book of the deceased religion. These prayers are typically said at overtly religious funerals or recited by a clergy member. This sort of memorial is particularly fitting for those who were very religious in life or who have very religious families. In some cases, these prayers can be found pre-printed on memorial cards so that mourners can follow along.
The Wheel of Life
Often religious but just as commonly used at secular services, the “Wheel of Life” type of prayer tends to remind those in attendance that birth and death are inextricably linked. As a prayer, these short homilies serve to memorialize the passing of the deceased not just as a sad event in the lives of those present, but also as a part of how life works. They help to remind everyone in attendance that death is a major part of life, but that new life will continue. These prayers tend to be appropriate for the services of those who died of natural causes rather than those of individuals who died in accidents or at a very young age.
The Celebration
There are some memorial prayers that are less about comforting words and more about celebrations of life. These prayers tend to be brief and to the point, and they tend to serve as a message to all present that the funeral is meant as a celebration of life rather than as a moment to ponder death. These prayers are more common at secular funerals than at religious services, but they are often heard when the departed wished that those present at the service would not spend their time mourning him or her.
Good memorial prayers fit the service, the life of the deceased, and the mood of the audience. It’s rarely appropriate to have a religious message at a secular service, and few wish to celebrate a particularly tragic death. Whether written ahead of time or copied directly from the words of another, these are pieces that are meant to help provide guidance to those who are still in mourning. No matter what prayer is chosen, it is important that it gives those who are still alive a chance to begin making peace with the end of their loved one’s life.
